Depression and My Art

I have serious problems with depression and have had them since at least HS. Every now and then, it creeps up on me and overwhelms me. The despair becomes incredibly intense and it's almost more than I can bear.

That said, I probably won't give up on my art and music. However, seeing as how few people seem to care about what I do, I don't know that I have much incentive to share it with anyone any longer.

The few of you that are interested, thanks. I hope you continue to visit these blogs and twitter. I can't make any promises about new news on my progress though. I doubt I'll be going back to deviantart so don't look for my art there. If there was more interest, I'd probably feel differently but this is the way things are.

I quit

I'm tired of struggling with my art and music. Too few people care. I have no money, no support, no band and no hope of getting it ever. This is a waste of time. It hurts too much. I can't do this anymore. I quit.

Spread the Word & Preview Track

To me, music is a form of communication. If no one is listening, I'm simply talking to myself. I've worked on alot of music projects and all of them withered on the vine. Lack of promotion and money prevented them from ever taking off. I don't want that to happen to this album. I still don't have money but I do have a few more people interested in my music. Those few of you who visit this website and have heard my live shows in SL, please tell everyone you think might even be remotely interested in my music about this. I need your help or all this will all be wasted effort and very very few will hear this music:

(removed for now)

This was uploaded at very high quality (320kbps) so please be patient while it loads if you are on a slow connection.

Icy Skies Falling

I finished recorded a new piece I started Saturday. It's not a song, more like an (very short) overture really. It will be the new first song on the album.

On a funny side note, while recording a vocal overdub for the choral arrangement our kitten Peggy wigged out while I was singing a very low part and she ran into the room, jumped up on my lap put her paws on my chest and stuck her nose into my face, her ears back and her eyes as big as saucers. Fortunately, I had just finished the part and managed to hit the stop button before laughing my ass off! :D

Unhappy with cover art

I think I can do better. Yes it is from my dream but that doesn't mean I should use it. Dreams are a springboard for ideas, I shouldn't follow it slavishly. I have a better idea anyway.

Glow Finished

The first song of the album is now complete. I now have four finished songs. I have another three songs nearly complete but need reworked as they are demo quality. I want to get a few more done before I post any samples but I will post a sample or two soon! Somewhere in between recording I need to get my MySpace page fixed up. After that, I need to start thinking about how I'm going to distribute the album.

The Fall of Man/Groovfuct Album Cover

I did the album artwork last night. It's almost exactly what I saw in my dream. I'm not sure I'm going to use it though. It's kind of a big ol' bummer, very realistic, especially in light of world events. The narrative of the album goes in a more sci-fi direction, though it starts out realistically. I just don't know.

Decrapifying MySpace

When you're an unknown, unfunded musician, you can't afford to have someone create your website for you. This takes away from more important things like MAKING MUSIC but you don't have a choice because no one else is going to do it for you. I've just spent hours screwing around with trying to decrapify my MySpace page. The fact is, MySpace backend is a POS. Customization options are severely crippled and awkward to implement. The basic layout looks like something from 1998, not 2008. And layout generators tend to make a bigger mess. Unfortunately, I have to deal with it as a musician because people always want to know what your MySpace page address is. I finally found a great tutorial for dealing with the fugly that is MySpace. I'll have to get back to it later though, my brain is burnt.

Dream Music

I dream about creating music or hearing music I've never heard in real life. Unfortunately, the ideas don't last into waking reality or if they do, they don't seem is interesting as they did in the dream. More rarely, I dream about art and design but I've found those few times a bit more inspiring. This is the case with The Fall of Man/Groovefuct. This album was literally conceived in my dreams. I didn't hear music (at least, I don't remember it) but I very clearly remember seeing the CD booklet of a Shadowjack album that doesn't exist. It was complete with layout, text treatments, cover art and even a new Shadowjack logo! The logo you see at the top of this blog is exactly what I saw in my dream. This has pushed me to create the music to accompany the CD design I saw. I believe it is turning out to be some of the best music I've ever done. I'll be posting a track or two soon. Thanks for looking and listening!

Shadowjack Blog

Welcome to the offcial blog of Shadowjack! I'll be updating my progress on the new album here so come back often! Thank you all for you support!